Open The Gate
Breaking down Sacramento Real Estate: Our Favorite People, Places and Mindsets
Open The Gate
Ep. 25 Dan & Kaelee- Navigating Life's Turns with Humor and Insight
What if you could unlock the secret to a fulfilling career by embracing change and betting on yourself? In our milestone 25th episode, join us as we celebrate with coffee-fueled enthusiasm and unravel the intricacies of the housing market's peculiar trends while chuckling at the barrage of political campaign messages invading our digital spaces. With insights from industry guests Amber and Colby, we reflect on how parenting and pivotal life changes resonate with our own journeys, shaping both personal and professional trajectories.
Ever wondered how moving from bartending to the title industry could redefine your career? We share personal realizations of hitting career peaks and the bold steps needed to explore new challenges. Our conversation illuminates the joys and hurdles of interacting with diverse individuals and navigating competitive environments that may stifle creativity. By sharing these stories, we aim to inspire you to take control of your career path, urging you to pursue what truly matters despite the uncertainties that lie ahead.
Motivation, mental resilience, and the delicate balance between humility and success take center stage as we dive into the role of family dynamics and supportive partners in driving ambition. With personal anecdotes and reflections, we explore how self-discipline and small victories play crucial roles in overcoming tough times. We also ponder how social media and mental mindset influence perceptions, encouraging a broader worldview. Join us for a thought-provoking discussion that promises to challenge your perspectives and inspire a positive approach to life's challenges.
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Speaker 2:Yo, good morning. We are like way earlier than we normally would be on a Monday morning, so finding some energy might be a little bit of a challenge but we're going to do it. We're going to do it. I got. I'm on my second cup of coffee.
Speaker 1:I'm excited. I think this conversation is going to energize us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. First off, how was the weekend?
Speaker 1:It was. It was good. It was busy, but not as busy as it has been. I actually had some moments to overeat.
Speaker 2:Saw some new, saw some new social media.
Speaker 1:Yeah, made some content.
Speaker 2:Got to take some people out looking at houses this weekend. Oh yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 1:I've been doing that daily honestly. Which is weird because the market isn't really moving as much as we would like it to be, but people are still active. It's like they're out there looking but they're not really crossing the line Just doing their recon yeah hardcore.
Speaker 2:We had a pretty busy day, booking inspections on friday, so I'm really curious to see what uh what today looks like, obviously with with halloween right around the corner um, there were a ton of election right around the corner yeah, maybe, maybe, that's, maybe that's what'll, that'll be the windfall. Yeah, maybe, once we get, once we push this behind, put that behind us.
Speaker 1:Can't wait.
Speaker 2:I just can't wait till both of them stop talking.
Speaker 1:I'm just so tired and the text message. My new favorite hobby is deleting and reporting. Junk the 10 to 15 text messages I get every single day.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. I don't get the text or even so many of the calls.
Speaker 1:What's your secret?
Speaker 2:My email gets flooded, just flooded.
Speaker 1:Begging for campaign donations yeah, it's interesting to me to see the different psychological tactics that they're using, though Everything from like pleading to the emotional to the to the capitulation oh, we've lost.
Speaker 2:It's like it's so interesting to me, I'm just like oh God. Yeah, It'll be. It'll definitely be nice when it's over. It's going to be what it's going to be. I'm not moving to Brazil or Mexico or Canada anytime soon.
Speaker 1:It's always made me giggle, because there's this buildup of doom and gloom and if this person wins, or if this person wins we're screwed. But at the end of the day it's it's like okay, they win, and then we keep going like nothing changes drastically immediately.
Speaker 2:yeah, you know, long-term changes probably for sure, um, but yeah, no, nothing, nothing immediate, I mean stuff that'll probably more affect my children and your exactly. I know more than us for them, but yeah, so um, so today is going to be a little bit of a different episode, episode 25.
Speaker 1:Congratulations, that's our quarter anniversary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Quarter quarter away to a hundred.
Speaker 1:That's a, that's something that we should go get food after yeah, non-caffeinated. What do we do?
Speaker 2:Maybe we'll go celebrate. We'll go celebrate today with a uh, a vegan burger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Try to keep it healthy. A salad Um.
Speaker 2:I could use a salad after this weekend, yeah.
Speaker 1:I, so I'm excited about this. We've decided to uh break up our interviews of people in our industry, people in our community, and kind of break it down and have a little bit of a recap and review some nuggets, but also provide some insight to you, our listeners, and also a moment for Dan and I to kind of understand and break down what we're hearing and apply it to not only ourselves but to give you guys some insights and nuggets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and hopefully. Hopefully, something that we have to say resonates with somebody or a few people and more people start tuning in and listening and we validate what we say is validate the time that we're spending here. So, um so, jumping, jumping right in, Kaylee, we'll let you kind of, we'll let you kind of handle the first question.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, well, I mean before we get to the first question. I think the reason that I wanted to go this direction is because I was listening to the last couple of guests. You know, amber, both Colby had really incredible conversations and one thing that I noticed from both of them well, there were a couple of things and similarities, but one of the things I noticed is that both of them seem to have this defining moment leading into a new career Right and not surprisingly, both of those defining moments kind of involved children like caring for their life which is a position that I'm in right now.
Speaker 1:Not that I'm, you know, having a defining moment at this time, but, um it, it kind of dawned on me that we generally most people have these moments, and sometimes they're more obvious than others and sometimes they're a series of smaller moments, but, um, that's what made me want to ask the first question what? What has been a defining moment that led to your career, or is in your career, or even just in your life, that you look back on?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like for me it's. It's pretty wild because I do. Actually my defining moment where I really like put a pin in making the change was when my wife was pregnant with my daughter, or actually shortly after she was born. I was in the restaurant industry and I was actually traveling. I was working with noodles and company, traveling around opening new restaurants for them and then running my own restaurant back in kansas city and um I know that about you.
Speaker 2:It was kind of like yeah, it was fun, it was a blast, it was a lot easier to do.
Speaker 1:In my late 20s and early 30s Were you severely overweight.
Speaker 2:No, no no, no, I still had metabolism, so it was easy. And no kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, right.
Speaker 2:I mean we had no kids, we were doing whatever the hell we wanted, we wanted, uh, but it was but very much like like kind of colby and amber, like when, when marina was pregnant with kaylee, um, it was kind of like, yeah, I'm not gonna be here, you know, and she's a working mom, um, with a child while you're out, you know, working late hours or traveling to open new restaurants, and gone for a week or two at a time. I think she basically said I'm not going to be like a working, single married mother and I was like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:I get that.
Speaker 2:And so for me there was like this impetus Okay, I got to get out of this world and, honestly, like in the back of my head, I always hated the fact that, like your value in that industry was being there and I was like, no, like I always felt in the back of my head like I'm smart enough to like get this stuff done. I was a good enough leader to develop my team to be able to handle situations when I wasn't there, even if I was a phone call away or something like that, where that industry routinely would ask you to work 50 to 60 hours a week.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like looking back on it. I mean the money wasn't fantastic, it was fun. I mean I was flying around and you were air quotes busy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it worked for that phase of your life.
Speaker 2:There was always something to do, but it just wasn't it. And so it was kind of in the back of my head for a long time that that wasn't going to be the longterm play. And we had that conversation. I was like, yeah, you know what I'm done, I'm just kind of done with this shit. And then I so I needed to find a way to transition from, you know, an operations to a sales position. So I went into food sales because, because I was, I was like, okay, if I can walk into an environment that I really, really understand as far as the language yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, so that was kind of it. That was really the impetus for me, but it was like it was a slow build to get there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, interesting, I really love that. Okay, and then how did you go from food sales to home and pest inspections?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so another interesting story. But uh, so shortly after um, my son was born, so my kids are two and a half years apart. Um, he was born in August of 2012. And in December of 2012, we moved back to Northern California. So we moved back with uh, with him brand new baby, and um, marina was able to transfer her job back out here and um, I basically was unemployed. So we moved back and um, I spent the first couple months on the job hunt but watching the kids and it was brutal. I mean, I was so ready to just take whatever job was offered. Yeah, it was hard. Um, I have mad respect for the stay-at-home moms, for sure.
Speaker 1:It's a full-time job, or the stay-at-home dads too.
Speaker 2:It is a, and I think what gets overlooked is it's really hard because you don't get a lot of adult conversations. You don't so like that adult stimulation of the brain. You know you can only watch so much.
Speaker 1:What was the Paw Patrol? I big was the big show. I watched my first episode the other day with my my in-laws children and I was like, is this my future?
Speaker 2:Is this going to be what's trending?
Speaker 1:when my kid is old enough to watch.
Speaker 2:I don't know, it seems to be sticking around, so yeah, so we moved back and, um, so I was going through, um, the interviewing process. I have a bunch of family that works for a large corporation and I was going through the interview process with them thinking it was a slam dunk because I was an internal referral I had a handful Nepotism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean a handful of relatives that were, you know, at the executive level. Yeah, so well, it came down to me and one other person who was also an internal referral, and that person had a little more experience and didn't you know? Obviously they didn't love that I'd worked on my feet and on the run, basically my whole professional career right um, where this person was a little more office savvy and they ended up getting the job.
Speaker 2:So that process was taking so long I have. I was taking any interview I could get along the way.
Speaker 2:I was still on monstercom or whatever it was back then yeah and it was like if I got offered an interview I would take it regardless of what the job was, because I just wanted to get the reps interviewing and one of the interviews was with uh was with a termite company or a pest control company for termite and um. So they ended up offering me a job and it was kind of like right around the time that I found out I didn't get the other job, so I took it.
Speaker 2:It started training and and then actually I had known Zach for years before that and we kind of and talked through it and he was like okay, we'll just get your license and then you can come work over here with me. That was at uh, at North American home services.
Speaker 2:And then even when that was happening, like he was like hey, within the next year or two, like I'm planning on going back out on my own Um. So there's a whole nother story to that, but basically that's how. That's how I got into that industry. So going from that pest control company to North American was like going from kind of residential Um, it was just all up sales, basically calling on pest control clients to go do a dry rod inspection and sell something, where the real estate side was obviously a little a little different. Um, it was kind of a uh stark contrast because way more liability, obviously urgency and uh. But I really enjoyed the process. I loved the industry, I loved how fast it moved, um, and I loved kind of being an integral part. But at that time it was wild because that was in the short sale, reo days and the termite guy was the bad guy, like notoriously the bad guy, cause there'll have been a lot more distressed properties, you know, and we're putting bids on our reports, so like we were lot more distressed properties.
Speaker 1:you know we're putting bids on our reports, so like we, were, and those reports are scary to anyone. I mean for sure, I mean 15, 13 years 13 years in and kind of like ah, whatever anything under 20 grand.
Speaker 2:I'm like it's not that big of a deal but but um but for sure, like so I mean, and it's funny I have to remind myself all the time time I go this is the world that I live and work in, so I talk about these things so freely all the time. Right, you forget? Like her first time home buyer, like five thousand dollars in dry rot repair is probably a big deal for them yeah, it's shocking, even for the homeowners, when they see that, but you know, dry rot is not something that homeowners typically think about when they're reviewing their home maintenance right, you know.
Speaker 2:And so that's not until something, until the painter comes out right. So they're like, oh, I don't like the color of my house. And he's like, well, you got to get this dry right in there. What, how much yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's really interesting to hear that evolution though, because now you know, when I think of you, like you really represent this segment of the industry, it feels like this is part of your persona and it just suits who you are Well, thank you, and I mean obviously, the branding portion has always been really important for me. You've been crushing the branding, obviously.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that's that's. I mean that's obviously been, it's been to a degree by design, but I'm not one to shy away from letting work and life, you know, intermingle. Yeah, you know, I think it's, it's hilarious. I mean, a lot of my neighbors call me Dan Finley because I'm like whatever. I mean hey, whatever, if you got bugs, if you got bugs, you need it. You know where to call. So I'll take it. So yeah, so, like I said, I mean it was, it was.
Speaker 2:It wasn't necessarily like a defining moment as much of a progression and getting into a, you know, a sales role where I could, where I could still have that, that regular interaction with a variety of people, that I that was the part that I loved. I mean, I think my favorite job I ever had in the restaurant industry was bartending, because it was just like I mean my gosh man, just so fun, yeah.
Speaker 1:Interacting with people like the restaurant industry. Yeah, it has its negative parts. For sure there are some people who treat you as less than but it was like so much fun to me.
Speaker 2:It's so fast paced.
Speaker 1:You come across so many different personalities, Like you're selling food and drinks it. How upset can you be really when you're enjoying something that's like deliciously and passionately?
Speaker 2:made 95% of the time. You're making somebody happy. Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:Some people you just can't make happy.
Speaker 2:So you know it's like those are the exception, but um, yeah, for me, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I I think I've had several defining moments that my life really has been a succession of. Every couple of years or so, a door opens that I really never expected, which is why I didn't ever want to pigeonhole myself into. This is what I want to be Pretty much since I left college. When I was in college, I had a real goal and idea of what I wanted, but after that it was like life isn't supposed to be this, like one set plan path. Life isn't. Life isn't supposed to be this like one set plan path, you know. So, um, most recently, the defining moment was when I was entitled. I'd, I'd had my real estate license for years before I got into title. Actually, I wanted to sell real estate, but again a door opened that I didn't expect. So, um, there, yeah, there was just this moment where I had just spoken.
Speaker 1:I was in a third-party coaching program that was a national, actually global program, and I was really prolific within that program. I did very, very well. I was constantly in the top 10 national producers and they have a convention in Reno every year and I had been a keynote speaker last year. It felt like I had kind of peaked. You know, when you reach the top and you're like, how can I beat this? And on top of that, you know the market was really rough. We had the worst sales volume since 2007.
Speaker 1:And so in the title world, it felt like people were looking to take each other out rather than find new ways to get business people were looking to take each other out rather than find new ways to get business, and so the competition, the restrictions, the big I of big brother was really weighing down, and it just got to this moment where I think it was actually when they told us that we could no longer serve on any committees within the association.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was rough. As someone who serves on committee associations, association committees. We lost some serious horsepower. Yeah, that was rough, as someone who serves on committee associations, association committees. Like we lost some serious horsepower. I mean some of the title reps in our especially in our area are just so talented and so well connected in a smaller area, um, they get that. You know that, that dense area I mean that was how I got a lot of my relationships built.
Speaker 1:And not only could we not serve on committees, we couldn't even volunteer our time. So, if you know, the Placer County association was planning a volunteer day at the food bank. We couldn't do it. And it just felt so outrageous to me, and I think that that's when I was like you know what this has been so oppressive to my creativity and my ability to market myself and to do what I naturally do, which is build relationships.
Speaker 2:Not to mention the whistleblowing. You know it's like, oh my everyone.
Speaker 1:People call and foul on each other Like if you can't beat them, take them out is such a terrible mentality. But that's really, I mean, that's truly the nature of the title industry.
Speaker 2:So let me, let me ask you this, this, this came, this came to mind as you were, as you were kind of describing your role, um, and, and as you said, you kind of capped out where you were at. Did you? Did you ever catch yourself like looking up and go Colin, yeah, no, colin, I love you.
Speaker 1:You're a gem of a human what you do, I can never do.
Speaker 1:But to really go to the next level is to move up in management. Right, and I have said my entire life, not just in title I don't want to manage people. It's fun to manage people who are coachable, but most people don't want to be managed, and that's when the job gets really challenging, because you have relationships with people, you know them on a personal level, but then to say like hey, you're not doing your job, or even to have the conversation of like we got to let you go because you suck at your job so much, Um, yeah, that's, that's stuff I never wanted to do. So it was definitely part of the consideration of like I feel like I've plateaued in the best way possible and I'm ready for my next challenge. Ultimately, though, because you know, moving from a W to to a 10, 99, um it.
Speaker 1:I really just needed to be ready to bet on myself and to feel like I could you know, make that change. So for anybody out there listening to this right now who's been doing something a while, or wanting to make a change, or just not feeling fulfilled, like don't wait.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't wait. I think that. Yeah, take a deep breath, brace yourself, rip the bandaid off, whatever, whatever, the, whatever, the vernacular that clicks with you For me. You know we talk, I talk a lot about it. There's mornings when when I just don't want to get out of bed and and I was thinking about this morning like the alarm goes off and I'm like all right, I could lay here for nine more minutes or I can put my feet on the floor. I know I have some stuff I need to get done this morning, every Monday morning I try and send out a weekly email and I try and get it done before 7am.
Speaker 2:So I'm like, all right, it's, it's five, 30. Get moving, because you got to get your brain spinning and think about what's going to go into that email, um, so yeah, so, whatever it is, I think a lot of times it's you know the old, the old Nike, saying like, just do it. I mean, you know the JFDI, simple but it's powerful. I mean it's been around for 40 plus years and it's not going anywhere and it still resonates. It's a powerful, powerful thing.
Speaker 1:So we mentioned a little bit this market last year, especially lowest sales volume since 2007. This year you know we're doing a little bit better, but it's still tough to a lot of people Marginally but what do we go like five 5% or something three to 5%, depending on whose numbers you're looking at.
Speaker 1:Much in line, much in line with the current environment of the United States. So what, what is it that you do to stay motivated when it's slow? Um, and then you know kind of a twofold question like what is it that motivates you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so for me, um, I'm actually more motivated when it's slow than when it's busy. Um and I think that's kind of specific to our team because we are a um, a physically intensive work um environment where you know we've got right around 30 employees and if the phones aren't ringing it ultimately falls on my shoulder and that's 30 people that are concerned about their employment going into the holidays especially this time of year.
Speaker 2:Um so. So one thing obviously is the team. I'm very motivated. I feel very compelled to do everything in my power to make sure that that the people, that the people that we employ are not concerned or worried and, you know, on the flip side, happy at work. We want to try and create a great environment. The other thing that motivates me is like I'm a competitor by nature and I've talked about it a little bit in the past, like with my athletic career or what was it.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's still there. We've seen you on the golf.
Speaker 2:What I did in athletics and and yeah, I mean the golf course. Now I don't play as much anymore and I'm trying to be less competitive on the golf course.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to enjoy myself when I when I get the opportunities.
Speaker 2:But, like for me, it was always like going through college. It was like, if you didn't wear the same uniform as me, like I wanted to kill you and I needed that motivation in that space to be able to compete at my highest level.
Speaker 1:Watch out other companies.
Speaker 2:We just could, I just couldn't be friends. But then when I transitioned to to the, you know, to the workspace, the professional environment, you know, you had to kind of step back and and take a look at it and and realize there's enough business out there for everybody, otherwise there wouldn't be all these companies. Right, that's very true. So one of the cool things I want to share with and I don't know if I've shared this on the pod before, but, um, one of my, my first sales manager when I took that food sales job and uh, he goes. Uh, and I'll never forget this, he's actually since passed away. He was awesome dude from Southern Cal. Uh, south Carolina spoke with an accent.
Speaker 1:So they're just a complete Southern Southern gentleman, right yeah.
Speaker 2:But he told me he goes you know there's competition out there, or he goes there's there's clients out there that you want your competition to have, and basically what he was saying was like there's people that are out there that'll just suck up your time and be a pain in the butt and if it's not worth it, it's not worth it. Now he goes are big clients and they are worth it, he said, but the ones that aren't, you need to identify them and go introduce them to your competition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you know that's one of the parts of sales that is severely overlooked is being able and knowing when to walk away. You can't win them all. You shouldn't win them all, um, but it's actually. It's such an incredible power move to say let me introduce you to agency.
Speaker 2:I just text them the contact. I got one for all these guys on the next one.
Speaker 1:I love that. No, having people rely on you, I think, is such a huge responsibility, not just in the workplace but in the family environment you know just being having to support and know that people rely on you, I think is one of the biggest motivators for a lot of people out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think the other motivating factor is my wife. My wife is incredibly driven and motivated.
Speaker 1:And she, you know, she makes sure she makes sure the burners on you know she's like hey bro, like you're, you're chilling, Like stop it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I honestly get out there and do some things.
Speaker 1:I'd have to attribute a lot of my motivation to my wife as well, I think, um one of the things that attracted me to her is that she was one of the first and only partners I had that had the mental fortitude to not only keep up with me but to challenge me, and to say I know who you are right now is not the best version of yourself, and I won't accept this and I want us to constantly, like always, be striving for better.
Speaker 1:Does it get exhausting? Sometimes Absolutely, but it's something that I appreciate, because I don't ever want to settle, I don't ever want to be just okay with who I am. I want to constantly be on that journey of I know that my full potential is constant growth. It's not this end destination, it's the journey along the way of who I've evolved to be so um. My wife has been a huge motivator, um and support system for me in that. But I, I don't know. I think a lot of my motivation comes from internal, which is is tough because it does fluctuate, like I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not fully motivated a hundred percent all the time.
Speaker 2:but I will say I think that I possess a lot more self-discipline than the average Joe and chronicling that over the next probably six months, for you will be, you know, pretty, pretty parabolic as well, right?
Speaker 1:I have been. You know it's a. It's an interesting journey being pregnant because there's so many different factors and influences and hormonal, you know, physiological changes that I'm struggling with. And it is again part of the journey because I'm understanding how to have grace and it's for somebody who is such a high drive, you know to be, to spend half the day like around my house just kind of lounging eating a whole pizza. It feels, like you know.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of um self-deprecating a little bit today, but yeah, you know we've all done it, but again it's.
Speaker 1:this. Part of my journey is, I think, about having grace with myself and understanding that I can't be going a hundred miles an hour all the time, and this is actually a moment that I should be cherishing and really embracing, you know these are the last few months I'm ever going to not have a kid to take care of for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, there's definitely some beautiful epiphanies that are happening, but Well, I love that grace for yourself period piece because, yeah, I mean, obviously we want to be kind to other people and that's kind of a given, but we're always the last person. I mean, obviously we want to be kind to other people and that's kind of a given, but but we're always the last person that we, that we focus on ourselves, right, we just beat the hell out of ourselves. And I think that can be a vicious cycle, because if you're just constantly beating on yourself, you're, you're just beating yourself downward instead of, you know, lifting yourself up.
Speaker 2:And you know I'm not a I'm not a huge positive self-talk person. You know I'm not a big affirmations guy. I just, you know, I feel kind of corny.
Speaker 1:You don't stand in the mirror every morning and say you know what, dan, you're going to do great today.
Speaker 2:Nope, I write down. I write down goals and I make checklists.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you know, that's what works for me. Yeah, it's interesting the irony there, because we, as humans, I think part of human nature is to want to show up for other people.
Speaker 1:But then to show up for ourselves feels so challenging, and I and I don't know what it is. I think this is kind of a perfect segue into the next question that I had for us, um, which is how do you thrive mentally when it's tough? Because I, I have a lot to say about this, really, the power of the mind, but I'm curious. I'm curious how you handle it first, because I feel like mine is going to be a little bit of a diatribe.
Speaker 2:I try and keep it pretty simple. For me, it's celebrate the wins, um, even if they're few and far between um, I really like to to point out and share those with, with our team. I mean, cause, obviously for me I don't necessarily get a lot of personal wins. Um, we set goals as a, as an organization, but it's like I view those as like it's the entire leadership team, that's that's getting us towards those and you know, and the all the way down to the, to the employee level. I mean everybody, everybody has a role in this organization to do those things. Um, so so that's kind of probably the biggest thing for me. I'm just not a big shameless self-promotion guy, yeah, um.
Speaker 1:I think that's what people love about you. You're humble, but you're still such a silent powerful force. Well, you're not that silent but you're such a powerful force and people are drawn to you.
Speaker 1:You have this magnetic energy because you're you're very humble, you don't go boasting about what you do, but you, your team, you, you all back it up and people want to work with you because you show up and you you know, price-wise, like if people are looking for the cheapest, maybe this isn't the best fit, but what? The service that you get and the relationships that you have with the people that you employ are way more valuable.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, no, thank you for saying that. I mean, that's obviously, that's always at the, at the forefront, like I'm actually. I'm someone who gets kind of, I get almost a little embarrassed. I mean, um, something that comes up and I don't love it. I'm actually a little nervous just talking about it.
Speaker 1:I know your hands just went in your pocket People people.
Speaker 2:People will point out, like the fact that I was recognized as affiliate of the year, and two associations in the same year, which is incredible.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't even know how to respond to it. I'm just like, well, thank you. I mean it was, it was hard. I mean I worked a lot those I you know but I still do a lot of work these days too. So, um, it's, it's a really nice honor it was. It was really, really neat to be in that spotlight and to have some of my closest, you know, professional colleagues who've who've experienced it before. Um, but not at that level. Um, so yeah, but it's, it's, it's funny Cause I mean, I still, like I said, I still, I still struggle with it.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm very thankful and very appreciative, but I don't really know how to like, um, humbly, be like, yeah, standing on the mountaintop going. Oh, I did this.
Speaker 1:Well, you've never been at a what I call the chest pounders of like the look at me, the bravado, the showy bow, and then you know again. That's why people are drawn to you because you, you are human, you have humility, um, which is a very attractive trait for people who are actually winners. Right, yeah, um I. So this question I really wanted to bring up, because I feel that mentality, the power of our mind, is so incredible, and this was actually something that I did go to school for.
Speaker 1:Um my some people know, not a lot of people know my mother growing up battled with a lot of mental disorders. She was schizophrenic, she was bipolar, she was manic depressive and then she got into drugs which really exacerbated a lot of the things. I saw a lot of horrible things with her, but it really drove this curiosity of why do people do what they do.
Speaker 2:What's going on inside?
Speaker 1:their brain to drive them to act and behave in a certain way, and I think that if we understand that about ourselves, the power that our mind has to drive our thoughts, which really does truly create our reality I was listening to Ed Milet the other day and he was talking about thought stacking and our reticulating activating system, that really drives a lot of our focus and what we focus on, and I was just kind of ruminating on that, thinking about how incredible it is that whatever we believe is absolute truth and we, our brains, will subconsciously seek to find information that reaffirms that. And it's so interesting to me, you know, for, just like a random example, and since politics is top of mind I was thinking about, you know, trump went and served at McDonald's.
Speaker 1:And then there was that whole like Listeria outbreak or whatever.
Speaker 1:Right. And so there are people who, you know, have certain opinions of Donald Trump and who saw that information and were just like, yes, he's the devil, he brought this outbreak to McDonald's. And you know we're laughing because it's so ludicrous. But to some people, right, you know, and this is why, also, I think, the internet is such a dangerous place because truth and facts are no longer relevant. What people see, if it affirms something they already believe, then it's automatic truth and there is no convincing them otherwise.
Speaker 2:And I think it's really, really unfortunate that the internet is biased. Yeah, you know, like I think in in the in the purest spirit. When the internet came about, I think really smart people saw the potential danger and now we're starting to see it um with you know, with the various um social media host sites and things that are out there censorship yeah, it's like man or it's like the, the algorithm that shows you what you want to see. Like exactly.
Speaker 1:That's our brain.
Speaker 2:I can't just see what you want to see all the time. Sometimes, you know, sometimes someone's got to hold your head and make you watch something that you might not necessarily want to look at as cruel as that sounds. Um, you know, you think about those horror movies where where, literally you know, the people's heads are restrained, force them to watch things, eyes are peeled open.
Speaker 2:But it's like man, like it's almost, there's almost some truth to that these days, because everybody just wants to show you what you want to see, even as simple as you know. I mean, I can't remember the last time I put something you know challenging or negative out on social media.
Speaker 1:It's like no, it's not worth it. Look at my beautiful life, but I think for me too it.
Speaker 2:But I think for me too it's also like I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. It was my own fucking problem.
Speaker 1:Well, and you know, I think that's exactly. It is that our brains are that algorithm showing us what we want to see.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So when seeking it out yeah, we're seeking it out.
Speaker 1:So when we are feeling the pressure of the challenges of the economy, of our career, of life, family stress, finances, whatever it is, it's so much easier to kind of keep focusing on all of that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Um, and what I really loved was the concept that Ed Milet talked about, which was just for 15 seconds, interrupting that thought with something that's more positive. You know, talk it's something that you can control, something that you can do, actions that you can take, whether that's volunteering, whether that's focusing on what you have already that's amazing, rather than what you don't have or what you're missing out or what you lost.
Speaker 1:And I think that if we generally, as a society, could focus even for 15 seconds at a time when we're in that moment of whatever it is, you know, the, the self-deprecation, the capitulation to life, we can truly change our mentality, we can change what we focus on and then we can train our brain differently to seek out more positive information based off of that 15 second thought.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, and I think that that's like, that 15 second thought really just opened the door to a longer, and like that 15 second thought really just opened the door to a longer to a longer thought process and a more um complete thought out.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly. In this industry, you know there's it's easy to listen to the chatter there's always people talking about, like, what's wrong, what's going on, the negativity, the doom and gloom.
Speaker 2:Is it the seagulls from Finding Nemo, mine Mine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're so, they're so loud, Um, that you know, I just I want to encourage everybody out there to, uh, to just be conscious of those moments when they come and to realize that it's a moment we can step outside of and change and maybe alter the course of a moment a day, whatever it is, Um, but you know, take, take charge of that moment in your life and do whatever it takes, whether that's volunteering whether that's something good.
Speaker 2:Do something, hold a door for somebody do something for someone else.
Speaker 1:I find that that's honestly. For me, that is one of the most um motivating things I can do when I'm in mentally in a rut is to put myself aside and to go do something selflessly and genuinely for somebody else.
Speaker 1:And then the way that you feel after you know, like this deal that I'm closing on Friday, I'm making no money, like literally no money, and it's tough Like I need money right now. I'm about to have a kid. It's not easy, but I am making somebody a homeowner. I'm making a first time family who also have a brand new baby she's six months old a homeowner Like to me. I literally get teary eyed when I think about it because it's so incredible. That's what I got into this industry to do, and so when I think about that man, I'm filled with such crazy positive emotions.
Speaker 2:The dopamine is rushing you know, and it's like okay, you're first in line for some solid hand-me-downs right, or at least you want hand-me-downs, you want hand-me-downs from kids from people's first kid like that stuff's way nicer okay.
Speaker 1:Well, you have so much stuff already. That's all hand-me-downs and I can't even begin to say it's saved us thousands of dollars.
Speaker 2:Oh god, yeah, yeah it is you start going stroller shop and you're like, oh my God.
Speaker 1:No, I think baby stuff is like the biggest scam. It's also why but you know twofold I like refused to buy maternity clothes a because it's like, all right, I'm only going to be pregnant for how many months. And then I'm never going to wear these clothes again. B because you know me, I'm a little bit fashionable. And um, I personally refuse to be dropped down to the level of maternity clothes.
Speaker 2:If I was a woman it'd just be all athleisure. I mean, I'm pretty much athleisure as a dude, so I'd be like stretchy everything. That's where I'm going.
Speaker 1:I think it's either that or, like belly's going to be full out, or, you know, we're going into winter. I did plan pregnancy around this so that I could like rock the baggy sweaters and stuff like that, which I have plenty of, but anyway. So yeah, I feel like we had a pretty good conversation today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this was fun, this was good. I mean, obviously it's like I said, it's never all that comfortable for me to sit here and talk about myself. Well, you're doing great, but you pulled it out of me. You pulled some stuff out.
Speaker 1:I guess that means I'm a decent co-host for a podcast. Oh you're fantastic.
Speaker 2:I was about to tell Blake. You know he better watch it. He might have to come back on.
Speaker 1:Blake, we miss you.
Speaker 2:We do miss Blake. We do miss Blake and I hope Blake's doing well. I haven't talked to him. I played golf with him a couple weeks ago in the P-Car.
Speaker 1:Oh good.
Speaker 2:The P-Car golf tournament and he seems like he's in a better place.
Speaker 1:So he made the right decision for himself.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Good, absolutely.
Speaker 1:All right guys. Well, thanks for tuning in today. Hope you got some nuggets out of this one. Look forward to some more recap episodes in between some of our incredible interviews. So thanks for tuning in and we'll see you next time. Absolutely © transcript Emily Beynon.
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